I'm going clubbing tonight. I have never been clubbing.
And the place I'm going to be clubbing for the first time?
Why, the same lounge where the monthly Suspension parties are held, of course.
Why am I going clubbing for the first time at the same place where I have been and will continue to be a crazy freakshow pervert for my own delight and pleasure, of which the Philanthropist has no knowledge?
It's the second date with the Philanthropist. It was my turn to pick what we did. I asked him what music he liked, thinking "classic rock, right, I'll go some place with a great jukebox." He does indeed like classic rock, but he apparently also likes electronica. So I offered a couple of options, since I hate making final decisions in anything other than my professional life. #1: Go to my favorite Lower East Side dive bar with an awesome jukebox, play skeeball and Big Buck Hunter, enjoy cheap beer, and actually be able to have a conversation. #2: Go to the Delancey for their electronica party (it was the only place I could think of, okay) and accompanying burlesque show.
I never in a million years thought he'd pick #2, especially since in my description I said, "Option #1 affords the opportunity to have a conversation, whereas option #2 affords the opportunity to witness my awkward dance skills." Isn't that a red flag of "I AM OFFERING THIS TO BE NICE, PLEASE PICK #1." Also maybe his choice is a red flag of "I don't really want to have a conversation with you." Ugh ugh ugh face in palm.
Oh, yeah, did I mention there'll be burlesque?
I think I'm even acquainted with a couple of the girls in this troupe.
Why do I do this to myself. I am such an idiot.